Conversely, invalidation is one of the most damaging forms of emotional abuse.If you have led a normal life, this has happened to you thousands of times. As human beings, we are 98% emotional and 2% rational. I went through years of silent abuse, thinking if I tried harder, if I was nicer it would work, I would change and please my husband. I think silent abuse is the worst of all abuses because you don't see it, but it weights you down like heavy bags of sand on your shoulders. For years when a person came to me because they had to change because the other people at work didn't like them or their husband or in-laws didn't like them, I would tell them. Your problem is you are with people who do not value or appreciate who you are." I never dreamed that was my problem also.
Another true but sad example: In our culture (America) the woman walks next to the man or in front of the man.
It is a process in which individuals communicate to another that the opinions and emotions of the target are invalid, irrational, selfish, uncaring, stupid, most likely insane, and wrong, wrong, wrong.
Invalidators let it be known directly or indirectly that their target’s views and feelings do not count for anything to anybody at any time or in any way.
The mutual validation of feelings is important in all phases of relationships including building, maintaining, repairing, and improving them.
To validate someone's feelings is first to accept someone's feelings - and then to understand them - and finally to nurture them. Invalidation, on the other hand, is to reject, ignore, or judge. Let's say one family member has very high validation needs, or one member is invalidating, or both have high validation needs, or both are invalidating?